I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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