Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
