So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Randomize
