i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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