He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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