so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The best revenge is premature balding
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
