I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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