Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
