College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Shame is for Republicans.
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