The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
