I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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