You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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