What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
