He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
