i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
