Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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