Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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