We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
