I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
