Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
