Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
