Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
