All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I smell stomach acid.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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