do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They have beer where we have blood.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
