Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
