That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
