so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
operation harelip BJ is a go
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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