I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
