I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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