By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
