She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
