All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
