Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
