She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
