1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
