trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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