Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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