just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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