OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
