i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it penis luge time yet?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
