The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
