Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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