i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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