I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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