I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Operation Purity has been aborted
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
