actually, I'm a sock model
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
