i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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