Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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