I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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