He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
