I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
