Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
where are you?
Hypothermia
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
